Dreams
by mysisterisasquijum
Summary: It all was just a dream; she had never left Earth. So will Hitomi Kanzaki ever let go and move on or will she spend the rest of her life alone, because no one is like HIM? ::Edited::
1. Chapter 1

Dreams

It all was just a dream; she had never left Earth. So will Hitomi Kanzaki ever let go and move on or will she spend the rest of her life alone, because no one is like HIM?

A/N: I would like to give a Big thank you to Sapphirefly for editing this for me.

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Part One: Dinner

Ten years, eleven months, and twenty-four days. But it wasn't like she was counting or anything. As another year was coming to a close, Hitomi Kanzaki found herself thinking about that day, that Fateful Day. Now this was actually a regular occurrence, and this wouldn't be that big of a deal, except that she was on a date. A blind date that Yukari had set up for her... again.

Hitomi knew all these dates were just Yukari's way of looking out for her. And it wasn't that she wasn't attracted to any of them... it was just that they weren't Him. Her angel, her King, with his red eyes, black unruly hair, and short temper; there was no one like him.

But the sad part was it was all just a dream. She had never left Earth. By all accounts, she had passed out that afternoon from stress, as the nurse told her. She had been in the bed the entire time, watched over by Amano.

Now was not the time to dwell on the past, as she realized that her date had asked her a question.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I'm boring you, aren't I?" It really wasn't a question, it was a statement, and he almost sounded amused by this fact.

"N-No, you're not." It was the truth; "It's just that I have a lot of stuff on my mind at the moment."

"Ah, thinking about your friend's wedding?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and sitting back in his chair. "As the maid of honor, I bet Yukari keeps you busy."

"Yeah," Hitomi quickly agreed, glad for the easy excuse. She did not want to tell this guy that she was actually daydreaming about some guy that was, well... a dream.

"No. That's not it," he continued, placing his right elbow on the armrest of his chair and resting his chin in it.

Hitomi's eyes widened, "Why would you think that?"

"Did she tell you what my profession is?"

If Yukari had, then Hitomi had not heard or had forgotten it, and judging by his attire, it could be just about anything.

He had on a red dress shirt, which was tucked into black trousers; belted with a simple belt, black shoes, and black socks. His hair was short and dark, as was typical for any Japanese businessman. "But I guess it doesn't matter much, as you're already in love with someone."

If it were possible for her eyes to get any larger, then her eyes would have popped out of her head. But thankfully they did not. "I-I-I'm... H-How?"

He smirked. "So I was right. It was written all over your face a moment ago. And since you're here, with me, I'll guess that either you just met him, or... " He looked her in the eye, "you're too afraid to tell your friend." He sat back up, and hailed the waitress, "Check please." The waitress nodded, and placed the piece of paper face down on the table between them. Hitomi went to reach for it. "I got it," he said, pulling out his wallet. "You know... This is probably the first time that my date has ever been this bored."

"Well..." Hitomi started, not sure if she really should talk to this stranger that she just met a couple of hours ago. Yet there was something about him that propelled her to tell him. "There _was_ someone."

"Oh?" He caught the important word; 'was'.

"But he's gone now. And I'm not even sure if he existed at all, to tell you the truth."

"What happened to him?"

"Not a clue."

"Hmm. Well now... Why do you still hold on to him?"

"Because..." She looked down at her folded hands on the table before her. "Because, well, before we parted ways, I told him that I'd never forget him..." She swallowed, trying to hold the tears back. "And because, deep down, I'm waiting for him to return."

Her date smiled a sad smile, "Well then. I guess that this is good-bye for us then." He turned to leave.

"Wait!" Hitomi called after him. "Couldn't... couldn't we be friends?"

"No."

He got up and started to leave, but stopped, a few steps away, and said in a soft voice that was almost too low to hear in the crowded diner. "You'll find that I like you too much. And that wouldn't be fair to anybody." He turned to face her, "If this guy truly loves you, he'll come back for you. And he'd be a fool not to." He leaned toward her, and wiped away the tears that had escaped their prisons. "Now if you ever give up on this guy, give me a call. Just ask Yukari for my number."

And so he walked out of the restaurant…without a second glance.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2: Torn

Keys crashed against one another as they were turned to unlock the apartment door. It was the only sound in the empty hallway on the twelfth floor, so the sound was loud to Hitomi's ears as she let herself into her apartment.

She removed her shoes, closed and locked the door, hung up her coat, and threw the keys on the kitchen counter. She didn't bother with the lights, as the previous weekend Yukari had moved almost all her things over to her fiancé's. So that left very little in the way of small misalliance items that were left in the middle of the floor, to be tripped over... much to the enjoyment of the sandy-blond.

Once in her room, she switched on the light, and then dived face first on her bed. She sighed.

She was such a fool! To tell that guy all those things... and to be hanging onto Van like this... and for what? She turned over, and retrieved the pendant from under her shirt. She sighed again.

The pendant.

It was the only thing that stopped Hitomi from entertaining thoughts that _it_ happened; the pendant that her grandmother had given to her as a good-luck charm. She had given it to Van when they parted. It was the thing that told her that Van was just a dream. It was the one thing that never failed to shatter her dreams.

The weight of it was comforting, and at times excruciating, and unbearable to part with. It was just filled with too many memories; real and unreal alike.

She rolled the stone between her fingers, and looked over to the clock. It was too early to be calling Yukari. Calling this early would mean that the date didn't go well... according to Yukari's standard. And to Hitomi that date went well... or rather it wasn't a disaster, unlike some of the others...

So she just stayed there, staring at the white painted ceiling, rolling the pendant between her fingers listening to the tick of the clock...

_**'Couldn't... couldn't we be friends?'**_

_**'No.'**_

UGH!

Why couldn't she forget about this one? Like all the others?

_**'You'll find that I like you too much. And that wouldn't be fair to anybody.'**_

Was he serious?

_**'If this guy truly loves you, he'll come back for you. And he'd be a fool not to.' He leaned toward her, and wiped away the tears that had escaped their prisons. 'Now if you ever give up on this guy, give me a call. Just ask Yukari for my number.'**_

Too close. He got too close. Past a barrier... somehow. That's why she couldn't forget. Just too close.

So what was she going to do now?

_Ring..._

_Riiiiiiing..._

_RRRRRRiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg..._

_'Hello, you have reached the home phone of Hitomi Kanzaki. I'm not in right now, so please leave a short message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If you're trying to reach Yukari Uchida, please try her cell, if not leave a message and your number which I'll pass on.'_

Hitomi listened to her own voice on the old-fashioned message machine, and faintly wondered why she hadn't switched over to voice mail yet...

_"Hitomi pick up." _Right, to screen her calls. _"Hitomi. Stop screening your calls. I _know _you're home... I can see your light on." _Hitomi could almost hear Yukari roll her eyes. _"Don't make me come over there!"_

The green-eyed woman reached over and picked up the receiver by her bed. "Hey, Yukari."

"_Just because I've moved across the street, does not give you the privilege of ignoring me. So how did it go?"_

"It went... well."

_"But you didn't like him, did you."_

"No. I liked him."

_"So what was it this time? Too short, too tall? Hair too long, hair too short, or too light-?"_

"There was nothing wrong with him."

_"Then why are you home so early?"_

_'Good question.'_ Hitomi thought. Why wasn't she out with this guy, having drinks, or singing karaoke, or... something?

_"...Hitomi?"_

"I don't know, Yukari... I don't know..." whispered Hitomi.

_"...Oh, Hitomi..."_

"I'll talk to you later Yukari."

_Click_

This was all just too confusing. She was supposed to be in love with Van. Their love had saved an entire planet from war. But did any of that count when the world wasn't real? He wasn't real? Was it like loving a character from a book? Or like a figment of someone's imagination? It's always there, never real, never changing, on the page, and in the back of your mind haunting you.

She needed to get out. She needed to go for a walk, needed to get her mind straightened out.

A few quick steps took her out of her room, turning the light off as she went. She marched to the door, grabbed her heavy jacket (it was supposed to get cold tonight) leaned around the small dividing wall to grab her keys, slipped into her sneakers, mindless of the fact that they did not go with her knee length black dress, whatsoever, and only stopping to lock her door.

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Once outside she paused briefly to ponder which direction she should travel; to the left, or to the right? She couldn't go straight, as that would be straight into traffic. So left or right? Van, or the mysterious man? To her king in oversized armor, or to the first person to capture her attention since high school?

Why was she making a metaphor out of which direction she would take?

So she went to the left, and then turned right at the end of that street.

Left

Right

Left

Right

Left

Right

Straight

Right

Left

Left

Right

Left

Stop

She had reached her destination, and she could only laugh at herself.

Kamakura-Kita High; it was her old high school.

She was like a criminal returning to the scene of the crime, or like countless heroines returning to see if they could reach their hero?

Why now?

Why ten years, eleven months, and twenty-four days? Why not on the actual anniversary?

Why? What did she want? To be loved? To be something special? Wasn't she already these things? So why? Why did she cling to something that wasn't real?

Before she knew it, she was on the track. It was dark. No lights were on. The sun had set long ago. It was empty. No one there but her. The story of her life... No. She had friends. Yukari, and Amano for starters. She had family; her mother, father, brother. Just not Him, or Them. As they weren't real!

But...

What if...?

UGH!

_What if_, two little words that could drive a person mad. _What if_ it was real? _What if _she had stayed? _What if_ things were different? _What if_ she could go back?

Her heart skipped a beat at that thought.

Go back?

To Him. To Them.

But there was a heavy weight around her neck... the pendant.

It was the real criminal. It was the one thing that she shouldn't have any more. He should have it, not her.

Why?

Should she move on? Forget about him?

Never.

She couldn't even if she wanted to. He plagued her dreams, her thoughts: her every being. So how could she get over him?

He wasn't real.

But did that matter to her?

Yes.

Unless...it was all real.

She had traveled to that planet. And that she was sent back; just like that one time towards the end of the war. The time when she had felt him fight for her; to protect her. But she didn't want that, and she declared that she wanted to go back... back before she was involved. Before she knew she loved him. And so was sent back to repeat that day he came, and the day before.

But...

He had sent her back in the end. He had used the power of the drag-energist; a dragon's heart. And she had given him the pendant, her heart?

So why did it hang around her neck?

She shouldn't have it.

It was all just a dream.

She had continued to walk while the fight between her heart and her brain raged. Then, by accident, her foot came in contact with something.

Starting blocks.

Why would someone leave these out in the open like this, and only one set? Was this a sign? Could she will herself back to Gaea? What about her responsibilities here? She was Yukari's maid of honor for the wedding next month, and there were still details that they had to go over. There was her new job, and her family. Could she leave them without saying good-bye? Just... disappear?

No.

But would she get another chance like this?

Probably not.

Was that why she dropped her coat, and settled into the blocks? Her heart was pounding, and she could feel the adrenaline race through her veins. She could hear the non-existent crowd cheer, and all of a sudden she could see the track, despite the fact that the lights were still out.

It was just like any race she had run. Only this one was against herself. If she wished hard enough she could go back to Gaea, right?

Yes.

Did she really care that it was all just a dream?

No.

She wanted to go back.

Definitely. Without a doubt.

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3...

2...

1...

_'Give it everything you've got.'_

GO!

Tensed muscles sprang to live, emptying all their strength in the take off. The rest of the way was solely run on her vast amount of reserved strength, from all the years of running. Running from what?

She closed her eyes.

_VAAAAAAN!_ Her heart cried out.

Then she felt weightless, hope surged through her. She was going back! She was going to see Him again. She was going to see everyone again! It was too good to be true! That she was actually able to summon a pillar of light. She opened her eyes, and saw the painted lines of the track racing towards her face, as her right leg gave out on her. She tried to roll to minimize the damage of the fall, but the ground was too close, and ended up tearing up her dress from shoulder to the bottom of her ribs, and scraping everything underneath. And she was probably going to have a very colourful bruise on her shoulder as well. Not to mention a limp, as she was sure that she had just pulled a major tendon.

Stupid!

Stupid!

Stupid!

She hadn't stretched.

Now she was alone, in the dark, in the middle of a track of a no trespassing zone, injured and a long way from home, with no one to help her.

She looked around, and then wished she hadn't. She was still on Earth. That was a given. And she was a mere inch away from the finish line.

Her throat tightened, and tears flooded to her eyes, faster then she could stop them from cascading down her face. Sobs racked through her frame, immobilizing her, as her heart tore apart into many tiny pieces, and bled.

Why?

Why?

Why?

WHY?

She was an idiot. To let herself believe that dreams and reality didn't matter; that they could be the same. Ha! Dreams only come true for those who dreamt of things on this planet. And for select few, the other confirmed planets in the solar system.

Not Gaea.

Not her.

She laid there for who knows how long, crying into the specially formulated tarmac. The sun had set long ago, and she had lost track of time. Had she even known the time to start? Eventually the sobs stopped, long enough for her to calm down. Tears still streamed down her face, but she could breathe now. She pushed herself up, with stinging hands, and whipped her tears away..._'Well... there's always a bright side.'_ she thought to herself as she inspected her hands in the dark. _'At least, it isn't gravel.' _She got up, and limped slowly over to her coat, glad that she had thought to bring her long one.

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She pitied herself as she limped down the streets trying to get back to the apartment. She figured that she must be a sight to see, as the coat that she wore, wasn't long enough to cover her scraped and bleeding knees, and there was nothing that she could do about her tear streaked face, with mascara and makeup smudges, and her hair tousled all over the place. She probably looked like a rape victim at this moment. But the saddest thing about it all was that no one cared. No one stopped to ask her if she needed help. The streets were packed despite the late hour, and no one gave her a second glance. Well, it wasn't like they were avoiding her; they just didn't care enough to actually look at any one. Everyone was just going about their own business, and staying out of everyone else's.

She sighed. What kind of a world did she live in, when no one communicated with the person standing right beside them? They would rather talk to some one through an electronic device then seeing the person face-to-face. Was this why she dreamt up Gaea?

She craved for a slower paced world - a world without instant messaging. Heck! She didn't even own a cell phone, just her pager.

She was really starting to feel the cold now, but it felt colder than the predicted 11 degrees. She was pretty sure that she was going into shock. She needed to get home. The streets were not the place to go into shock.

She started to shiver.

Dear god, she wasn't going to make it home in time!

Then she recognized a face in the crowd.

"Hitomi!" He called.

_'Allen?' _she thought.

"Yukari, I got her." he said into a small devise in his hand. A cell phone.

Not Allen. It was Amano.

"Hitomi, what happened?" He asked when he was close enough to see her face and the blood on her knees.

She opened her mouth to tell him. To spill everything that had tortured her this evening. But when she looked at him, she just couldn't. He looked so much like Allen, and she couldn't bring herself to say any thing. "I-I'll tell you when we get back to the apartment." He furrowed his brows in worry, and she looked away from his face,

"...I don't want to have to tell it more then once." His eyes softened.

"All right then." He took her arm and slung it over his shoulder, taking most of her weight onto himself. They made good time thanks to Amano half-carrying Hitomi along the sidewalk. But still no one noticed. He probably could have carried her over his head, and still no one would notice.

When they arrived at the apartment building, Yukari was waiting inside the small space between the security doors for them. "Hitomi! What happened?" Yukari cried, the sharp florescent lighting revealed Hitomi's battered body.

"I'll tell you when we get upstairs." Hitomi said to the floor, unable to look her best friend in the eye, as she fished her keys out of her pocket.

Yukari took the keys, and let the group in. "You had better," the red head threatened.

Once in the apartment, Hitomi's wounds treated by Yukari, and then dressed in baggy pajamas so as to not irritate anything. Hitomi was then seated in the middle of her couch, a hot cup of cocoa in her hands, with Yukari standing over her, and Amano sitting in the chair across from her.

"Spill," came the demand, short, quick, and to the point. Hitomi stared at the contents of her cup for a long time. No one spoke, as they all knew that eventually she would break down and tell them. The only sound for a while was the clock, ticking away the minutes..."Do you guys remember that dream I told you about, back in high school?" she finally asked.

"The one about Gaea?" Amano inquired.

"Yeah..." Then she launched into her story starting from the beginning of her date that evening. Of how she was sure she was still in love with Van, and her self-loathing for not being able to move on from a dream. She hadn't meant to say so much, but once the ball had started to roll, she found that she just couldn't stop it. And to their credit, Yukari and Amano were a great audience, allowing her to get everything off of her chest. That was probably why she said so much. They didn't interrupt her, but made the proper gestures and sounds at the right moments, that kept Hitomi going.

"...So, that's what happened." Hitomi concluded, her beverage now lukewarm.

Her two friends looked at each other, for a moment. "You should have told me that you didn't want to date." Yukari said after a moment. "I've been hurting you, pushing all these guys on you, haven't I?"

"What? No," came Hitomi's quick reply. "It's not your fault. To be honest, you've probably helped... 'Cause you see, I know that I have to go out on dates if I really want to get on with my life. But I'm too chicken to do that on my own." She looked up from her drink, and smiled softly. "The guy that I met tonight opened my eyes. I knew that I had to do this, to go on these dates, but I didn't know _why_. I know now... What I did tonight at the school was just being childish. I didn't want to change, or move on, not entirely, anyway..."

"You're sure, Hitomi?" The redhead asked.

"Completely." They stared at each other for a while, listening to the clock.

"I think that we should head home, Yukari." Amano stated, getting up.

"All right," she agreed, turning to look at him, and turned back to Hitomi. "You still up for cake tasting tomorrow?"

"Couldn't have come at a better time," was her cheerful reply.

"So I'll see you..."

"Eleven fifteen, at the bakery." Her smile was warm, and it reached the twinkle in her eye.

The two departed hand-in-hand, closing the door on the way out. Hitomi's smile faded as soon as she heard the click of the door, and the twinkle turned into a tear. She wiped it away, relieved to be alone, and took a sip of her drink. She made a face, as it was cold.

She went over to the kitchen, turned on the light, and then she heated her drink up in the microwave, being careful not to let it overflow. With the hot liquid she went to her room, and sat on the bed facing the window, staring just past the moon.

After finishing her cup, she went to the bathroom, lest she get any cavities on top of everything that happened, returned the cup to the kitchen, and locked the door to the apartment. With all that done she made sure that everything was set for another day on this planet. Coffee set and ready for the morning, keys in their usual spot, clean cloths put out, alarm clock set, and lights off.

Then with all that done, she crawled under the covers curled around herself and let herself fall apart and cry. These tears weren't the body-racking sob of her heart breaking... only the slow bleeding of separation, of good-bye. Because in the morning she had to give him up. This was going to be the last night she cried for Him, and for Them. This was the last night that she was going to fall apart. The last time she hurt someone else over a childish dream. The last time she hurt herself. The last time He would be hers, and she his.

She was letting her angle fly free.

_If you truly love some thing, you let it go. If it comes back then you were destined to be together. If it does not then you were never meant to be._

The pendant was heavy around her neck.

Angels aren't real anyway.


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